Anonymous said: (contd from before) ... that in front of everyone. it humiliated me. some people told him to shut up, but it didn't work. so just as the train was pulling into 59th street, i took a huge sip of my green juice then spat it all over his face and then said "sorry i don't swallow". now this man was in too much shock to react, and i quickly ran away as the subway stopped. sometimes its good to stand up, but it can also be dangerous. however don't let them get away - those motherfuckers are shit.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS <3
Yesterday, I was in SoHo with my friend Alexandra, walking around, being girls, drinking smoothies, taking Instagrams, and of course, shopping.
At one point, I noticed this totally normal-looking dude standing close by us, taking our photos while we were talking about peanut butter outside on a street corner. I gave him a funny face (also known as my fuck off face), and he went away for a little bit. Good dog!
45 minutes later and a few blocks down, I see the same guy in the store we are in, taking pictures of me again. He was so close that I could see his camera app open, and I saw a picture of my red skirt on his phone. He had guilt written all over his face.
I felt completely violated, but not helpless and quiet like I normally would. For the first time in my whole life, instead of letting him get away with it, I was ready to stand up for myself. As my wise friend Scarlett told me, “Women are so powerful and smart, but we have been socialized to think we’re weak and demur”. It must have been something in the air, but I was so determined to confront this guy.
It’s funny because as soon as he noticed me catching onto him, he started looking around the store, pretending to shop and look for stuff. Alright, I can get down with motherfucker, I thought to myself. This dude’s gonna remember my face forever, and not just cuz I’m on his fucking iPhone.
Now, keep in mind that we were in a WOMEN’S THRIFT STORE. My harrasser picked up a USB cable from a pile of old electronics and brought it to the register to purchase. I got super close to him and began filming him and taking pictures of him.
He grew more and more nervous as I stood over him. He started chatting to the store clerk forcibly, asking about the woman’s leather jacket on the mannequin in the window. I assessed the situation carefully.
Did I feel safe? Yes. It was daytime, 1PM, In a crowded store in SoHo.
Was I 100% positive he was taking pictures against my permission? Yes.
Was I 100% confident this guy was a perv? OH YEAH.
Did I have a friend there as backup? (Yes, but she was in the dressing room, which I preferred, I wanted to do it alone as to not alarm her, she had no idea what was going on and I wanted to keep it that way)
What would I do if he tried to hurt me? I don’t know. I had a HUNCH this guy wouldn’t lay a finger on me, he was just a perv.
I confrontated the man while he was still inside the store as soon as he finished paying. I spoke loudly, clearly, and in front of 6 or so people, as to humiliate him.
Me: “Excuse me, can I help you? I noticed you were taking pictures of my friend and I before, and I’m really not okay with that. I wanted to hear what you had to say for yourself about it”
He looked at me, dead in the face, and walked out of the store.
I approached him again as we spilled onto the street, and this time I was way louder so everyone heard.
Me: ”HEY, you were taking photos of me against my permission”, and then I began filming. The video above is what ensued.
This is just a small example of the total violation and harassment that women have to go through every day in 2014. America is a wonderful, progressive country with so much to offer- but we still have a lot to work on. I am lucky that this didn’t end up worse. I have, however, been in worse situations.
Last fall, my friend and I were riding the subway when an undercover cop approached me and told me a man was taking pictures of my friend (up her skirt). They arrested him and it was really eye-opening and just gross. My heart raced all night and I knew to be much more observant.
I am an extremely aware person, and notice this kind of stuff all the time. I always see men in the subways trying to look up girls dresses. I also witnessed a man cat-calling a lady down the street, chasing her and making kiss-y sounds. The girl didn’t do anything, and so I yelled at him, “You are fowl and she doesn’t want to speak to you”. Didn’t get that one on camera.
Last summer, catcalling really bugged me. More than the average person. It really got under my skin. I would vent about it to my friends and my parents but no one really gave me any constructive criticism on how to handle it. It seemed like the go-to response was to just IGNORE it. “You never know what those guys could do!” Yes, you are right. But they never know what we could do, either.
Every time I was catcalled and ignored it and kept walking, I felt like I was getting punched in the stomach. It honestly felt so inherently wrong to let a TOTAL stranger look me up and down, and then comment on what he thought about the way I looked. It took my breath away sometimes, and not in the good way. I got so mad that I was letting someone judge me, and I just had to shut up about it.
So, last summer, I researched some ways I could stand up for myself on the holy grail, aka the internet. They said to talk back to your cat-caller. So the next day, as I was walking to work, I got cat-called from a guy in a truck and I screamed, “EWWWWWW!!!” in his face. He then followed me down the street and told me to go f*ck myself, so that didn’t work out so well.
However, I have found that filming and recording your harrasser works. It embarrasses them. They don’t want to be on camera. They want to harass us and then go back to their misogynistic lives. Not only does filming them document the perpetrator (my friend watched this video on Facebook and said she saw the SAME GUY doing the SAME THING in Forever21 last week) but it lets them know that they will not be forgotten.
What’s the solution? Stop wearing outfits that receive negative attention? No, that’s not the answer. My friends and I get cat called in the dead of winter when we are wearing snow pants and down jackets. The issue lays deeper. Some men think that we are still on this planet to feast upon. They think we are there for their viewing pleasure. It’s in the way we raise men to think about women.
“We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.”
Why is being told that Marilyn Manson removed his lower two ribs so he could suck his own dick in middle school like a common thing why is that an experience every American child goes through i just don’t
federal mandates on standardized testing necessitate that all children nationally be taught certain curriculum at particular grade levels